Dr. Gonzo

Black Anger

In Dear Diary, Me on October 24, 2011 at 2:49 pm
‘Black anger’ by Mikael Lem

The above picture, a work of deviant art, by Mikael Lem, from here.

Incessant anger is pouring forth in waves, I can’t bloody seem to control it. In every thing I say, there is this abrasive edge. My sister remarked on it early morning while I was generally explaining a power-point presentation, when she stopped me in between to ask me why am I being so aggressive. It stopped me in my tracks, my boss has remarked on it a number of times in the past few months, but I had taken it as part and parcel of the job. At home, in a holiday setting, casually discussing something I am proud of doing, why am I being so abrasive? Through the day I have fought with a bank clerk, a vodafone gallery sales attendant, a parking ticket collector, a shop keeper, even a cop. Came back home, have screamed since at mom as well. Makes me feel doubly charred, first with the anger, then with the guilt.

No-one deserves this crap. Least of all friends, family and business clients.

I need to meditate. Or/and stop talking.

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