Tweets since u last logged in, or the episode of India’s T20 whipping and Dexter at “Who’s your daddy” central

Long story short, was watching the 20-20 cricket match between Sri Lanka and India last night. Normally I would have twittered through it, however no internet connection at home till 25th had me crippled. Halfway through the Indian innings though, I thought what the heck. Switched on my ancient laptop, opened up Notepad, and went typing. I think 55 tweets before I fell asleep.

The match bulletin up at cricinfo is here (to get an idea of the background, first)

The notepad tweets start here:

The giant bearded Yusuf Pathan walks in to bat calmly chewing a local root. India 111 for 5 as Yuvraj falls. Raina hits the next one for four ram straight.

The giant bearded Yusuf Pathan gets out and looks sheepish while walking away.

Let’s build a smarter planet. Let’s indeed.

I’m with her. She’s with him. He’s with her. They’re all with me. Orgy in a poetry.

It’s 116 for 6. Gambhir IS the best batsman in the indian team #justrealized

5 wickets have fallen in just 22 balls.

Sanath has a stud show. ‘Boys, I ain’t old yet’ innings.

Must feel good, the bitchy hostess says to Murali, after being totally outplayed in the test series. Murali shows her his middle finger.  No, that’s his carrom ball.

Lava mobile phones, Lemon mobiles. They booked a lot of spots for just after a wicket falls. Not good infront of an indian audience who is pissed with the mess.

Fuck, Dilshan takes an awesome running catch around the boundary.

Meanwhile it is a normal wednesday evening outside of the cricket field. Yes, still middle of the working week.

I do not type while I am eating, no.

Ashish Nehra tashan mein after hitting a six straight down the ground. Will India find another hero with the bat? Sneering scepticism in the tone. Another one, same result. Ashish Nehra tashan mein, after hitting another 6.

Nehra hits the 1000th six in T20 International cricket. Ouch. That is like his name is stuck at that figure now.

Dependability and Style, Lemon Mobile.

Ishant Sharma ko aaj chattar padne hain. Itne catches chhodne ke baad dhoni aaj raat bhat daudayega usko.

India 153/7

The required rate now is above 17. Too much to do.

But Nehra tashan mein. Fuck the match. I will fuck these Sri Lankans. Jayasurya has been eyeing him quite lustfully all through.

Another four slammed straight ahead. Nehra tashan mein. FUCKYOU! Reminds me of Jesus from the Big Lebowski, “I will fuck u, I will fuck u, fuck u”

Nehra shows phone aur ghar ke phone mein fark.

“Rohit Sharma unlucky to be got run out.”. Bullshit. He was glad he was out. He didn’t have the fight in him today. Nope.

Ashish Nehra tashan mein run out. Wounded as he looks at his bat while walking back.

The ZooZoo ads are a sure shot sign of a twisted society. Twice the zoo.

India 169/8

Pushpakumara looks like a bihari. I’m telling you! I would know!

This thing should start a new blog.

Dilshan picks up another wicket.

And the innings ends with a six. Yet India loses by 29 runs.

The bitter Neo Cricket anchor says, India may be the number one test team in the world, but in the limited version of the game, they have still lost. ” One match, motherfucker.

Thank God I didn’t see the Sangakkara innings. I do not watch T20 cricket for the cricket. I watch it because here, I can be a rabid fan. Like the old India-Pakistan matches. I watch it for the amazing entertainment value it provides once you become that rabid fan. The high, the drama, the tragedy. Not many other things in life at age 29 extract so much from me in terms of so much involvement in such wham bham fashion as a T20 match.

Yes, I love test cricket more. Shut up.

Ashish Nehra goes to collect the maximum sixes award in the match along with Sangakkara and Angelo Matthews. Two sixes each. LOL!

Fuck, Nehra’s tashan story is going to be told at every drunken party that Nehra is a part of.

Kumara Sangakkara shall get his booty tonight. Someone had tweeted during his innings, that the way Sanga is hitting fours and sixes, must be the result of his wife threatening celibacy till he gets a victory.

It really doesn’t matter how good …..blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah yeah Sanga speaks well, but fuck he speaks a hell of a lot. Yadda yadda yadda. Still talking ! GAWD! SHUT UP!

“Coming up – Ravi Shastri from the venue”, is Neo Cricket’s ticker going into the commercial break after the presentation ceremony.

Papa ka number? Kisko diya? Sabko?  Papa ki phat gayee. Script should have told the guy to NOT show a face like uski phat gayee. Why have a negative ad? Airtel account always fucks up despite flowing money.
Television switched off now.

Dexter. Season 4. Episode 1.

Jai hind. Time: 9:25 pm

How many people have been stoned while watching Dexter?

Previously on Dexter – Hah! Love these marvellous vignettes that the showtime guys assemble for “Previously on Dexter” for each episode.

“Dad wasn’t perfect, Deb.” That is the central basic problem with Dex.

Your favourite killer on Dexter? Miguel Prado, till now.

“Tonight’s the night. Tonight’s the night I finally sleep”

“Daddy kills people.”

Fuck! Episode 1.

Plays upon everything that you dig about Dexter, the essence of the brand and turns it around. Including the starting sequence and the clean murder venues and the clean disposing off the bodies.

The problem with joining late into a cult experience is that I already know what I am supposed to do. I already know that I am supposed to love John Lithgow, and that there is some awesome fuck that happens in episode 10. But then as Ruch said, some awesome fuck happens in episode 10 of every season of Dexter.

And this without actively seeking out this knowledge. I am connected to a WHOLE lot of people following and tracking parallel lives on the trot.

Ok, episode 2. This is the last one I’ve got. And I wouldn’t get any more before 25th. Delayed gratification? Fuck me!

HA HA! DEXTER NEEDS RED BULL!

La Guerta IS a celluloid embodiment of my ex boss.

Port Wine or Cough Syrup?

“One good night’s sleep. It will make everything better. One night’s sleep.” I agree. I’m turning in!

5 thoughts on “Tweets since u last logged in, or the episode of India’s T20 whipping and Dexter at “Who’s your daddy” central

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Tweets since u last logged in, or the episode of India’s T20 whipping and Dexter at “Who’s your daddy” central « Gonzo – Using an unconventional, exaggerated and highly subjective style, often when the reporter is part of th

  2. “The bitter Neo Cricket anchor says, India may be the number one test team in the world, but in the limited version of the game, they have still lost. ” One match, motherfucker.”

    Haha! Rabid fan indeed! but I agree.. Its fun that way..
    Lovely first post Dr. Gonzo..

    *plus Gonzo is also a popular form of you-know-what*

    Cheers. \m/

    P.S.: Add something to the About page. Something evil, pure evil. 🙂

    @tantanoo

    • You mean, Gonzo Porn?

      “One trait that all gonzo films share, though, is a much greater emphasis on intense (almost hyperactive) sexual performance, and modern gonzo is evolving to include more hardcore sex acts than either traditional or amateur porn.”

      We understand. And we shall deliver exactly the same recipe.

      About adding to the About page, well, have started with one. For the time being.

      Thanks for dropping by. Appreciate the feedback.

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