Seven pm. Weekday. Wednesday. Sitting in the living room. Feet, the whole leg in-fact shaking violently in impatience. Acute need to open up each avenue for a public interaction, again and again, repeatedly. If I was to start a movie right now, I would be able to see some 6 mins of it, before an almost violent impulse from inside would make me minimize the window and look for something new. Something new as in a new status update, a new mail, a new tweet, a new something. Concentration is difficult. If I was to start reading one of the four halfway read books, I would feel sleepy enough to close the book in about two pages, but not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep.
Acute impatience defines every activity. Response time of people you are chatting with. How long does a webpage take to open. How long does the computer get stuck on to a particular task. Repeated checking of gmail, facebook, twitter, the daily updated porn site, anything to entertain (not with a desire to be up-to-date, ahead of others, but just to get entertained, to be involved, to be anchored for a minute into something).
On days of extreme restlessness, keeping the various websites open on different tabs is also not an option (The Snoopy Syndrome – A watched door never opens. Also embarrassment and shame at one’s hyperactive behavior seeking involvement in external impulses). So the sites are opened, seen in a quick frustrated glance, tabs are closed. And then, repeat. Downloading helps at times. The soothing ticking of numbers on a torrent relaxes the senses. In terms of something happening continuously.
What would help definitely though, is not sitting in-front of the computer.