Did you fap today?
Of course it is an important question.
Well, did you fap today? He’s fapping, she’s fapping, they are fapping, they are fapping on the tv, that school bus could all be fapping together. Well yes, it is not necessary to fap because everyone’s fapping. But it is a good routine, isn’t it? Gives a proper milestone to the day. Keeps your morale up, gives you something to look forward to.
Yes, I suppose everyone knows all of that, but did you fap today? Of course, it’s a little thing in the day, hardly worth mentioning, hardly worth obsessing over. And yet so very crucial. Being hooked to one machine or the other all day, isn’t fapping how you get in touch with yourself?
Did you fap today? Just checking again.
It’s healthy, you know! Lowers the blood pressure, reduces stress, keeps machinery in well oiled order. Relaxes you like nothing else does. Then there is the assuaged ego, another day you can trudge through proudly as a man. Royalty have used it as a beauty regime, supermodels swear by it. The best in the business fap to concentrate better. It is de rigueur.
Wait a minute, are those vistages of guilt? Hey, no need to get angry!
You know your boss fapped today? And your milkman. And your auto-walla, that guard, those people you sent mails to all day. Even those you saw taking seven turns round the temple. All of them.
And how else do you maintain a healthy curiosity about people?
Did YOU fap today?
It is essential man. It is not that you are going to win an award for not fapping. Or that God would consult his register and say, okay, this guy hasn’t fapped in a while, let me give him his keeping off bonus. That wouldn’t happen. You cannot put off nature. You were meant to be doing it, that is your purpose in life. Not fapping exactly, but in the absence of actual sex, isn’t it your responsibility?
How can you just shrug off your purpose on earth? Laziness has to be curtailed beyond a point. You must ask yourself.
Did you fap today?
FUCK IT! OKAY!
FAP FAP FAP